“We can let the circumstances of our lives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us, and make us kinder. You always have the choice.” – Dalai Lama
A childhood plagued by reality dysmorphia, a cross-Atlantic move, language and cultural barriers, and toxic relationships do not necessitate an unhappy adulthood. Quite the contrary, learning to reconnect is essential to a whole human experience.
How I reconnect with myself after traumatic spans of time; these are not necessarily in order:
- Do what you love again. I love running. I love baking. I love writing. I love reading. These are things I know I love. When I’m not in a healthy situation, I stop doing the things I love, and friends and family notice.
- Check in with yourself. Make a list of things that you identify with and that make you smile because they’re uniquely you. I identify as French, literary minded, a writer, and deeply interested in learning. These are things that will impassion your life.
- Try something new and you. I’ve fallen off the bandwagon with my writing many times, and even forgotten my adoration and mesmerization of the process. I needed a gentle way back into it, so I started getting up earlier and writing three pages daily.
- Forgive yourself. This is hard; sometimes you may blame yourself for things out of your control. Part of reconnecting with yourself is forgiving yourself for not predicting the future of a situation, noticing warning signs soon enough, and taking chances.
- Don’t be afraid to be a lone wolf. I’ve personally always felt more comfortable alone, but I know others may not feel the same way. Being alone has many merits: you can reflect on your worth, you can dream about your goals, and you can feel in control.
- Read some inspirational quotes. Not all of them are right and some of them are just naive, but reading isolated quotes works as a quick and easy mood lifter. If I get into my own head too much, I’ll hop onto Pinterest and read quotes on positive thinking.
Reconnecting with yourself is incredibly rewarding; it brings you back to your truer self. It involves performing tangible activities that represent you, thinking about who you are, trying something new that’s related what you already love, forgiving yourself, being comfortable with being alone, and reading some wise words.
No matter how far we are taken from ourselves, we can come back and reconnect.