“No amount of security is worth the suffering of a mediocre life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.” – Maya Mendoza
I love routine; I don’t love routine that feels confining. There are forms of routine that are liberating, it’s essentially those that are self-created. I believe that those people who want to set their own standards of work and play time and believe in their self-directive enough, will be able to achieve this state of routine creation. I started to notice some tangible indications that I was not meant for an enclosed, outside-directed routine on the following clues:
Feeling sick at work and from work. And yes, I mean I was feeling physically ill at work, from my temperature rising (literally), to chronic headaches and feeling flushed, to being unable to eat for long stretches of time. I think these are things that come with being type A and somewhat socially awkward in an office setting.
Feeling bigger than your place. Places are meant to be filled, and I would find myself completing my work tasks well and on time, all the while thinking of new story ideas and elaborate other thoughts. At work, with the continuous repetition, I would feel trapped and isolated, unable to truly feel like I could emerge from my drone state.
Perpetually feeling the outcast. With being around people, you start to learn their motivations and aspirations for the future. My dreams are wild and sometimes outlandish, so staying them out loud can make me seem silly, but that’s just how I like my aspirations, bold and untempered. I’ve found myself stating my goal out loud and getting laughing and critical reactions, and that’s one way I know those people aren’t open to me as an individual.
When mediocrity is at play, and you begin to feel that sinking feeling of being trapped every day, you have some options, including: continue on, and get out and make your own routine.